


Guide me when I fall

by inmyrosegarden



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, louis is in a p bad relationship but harry helps him get out of it!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:03:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmyrosegarden/pseuds/inmyrosegarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. In which Louis is in a relationship that's going nowhere. Harry unwittingly walks into his life and shows him all that he's been missing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Guide me when I fall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatsprivatebro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsprivatebro/gifts).



> hope this is ok!!!!!! i had so much fun writing this bc fate and h&l and all that jazz hehe  
> this one's for new beginnings!
> 
> thank you to my bae han for beta-ing for me!! love u sweet cheeks <3

It’s snowing outside when Louis wakes up.

He’s lying on his side and facing the window, watching the blurry tufts of snow rush down from the sky angrily. There’s a chill in his room coming from the curtain-less window and yeah—maybe he should’ve listened to his mum when she told him to buy curtains before he could regret not having any.

Louis shivers and brings his duvet up and over his head. Sighing contentedly in the immediate warmth that encompasses him, he reaches blindly for his phone that’s sitting on his side table.

Unlocking the screen makes the semi-dark cocoon brighten with the light that comes from the device. Louis sees that he’s got a couple of texts from his mum and sisters—all pleading with him to come down to Doncaster for Christmas—and just one from his boyfriend Matty.

_Matty (03:35): miss u babe. lmk when ur free so we can facetime maybe? miss u nd ur pretty cock xxx_

Louis can’t help the uneasy feeling that he gets in his gut. He doesn’t know why—it’s his boyfriend of four years who has messaged him that, after all—but he’s not aroused in the slightest. He only feels like he’s suffocating, and whether it’s from the text or the blanket, he’s unsure. So he pushes the duvet off of himself and drops his phone under it--burying his stress, even if it is only for a little while. He steps onto the cool wooden floor and stretches his arms towards the sky.

With his arms up in the air, Louis throws his head back and looks up at the ceiling. The flat he shares with his mates Liam and Niall is so nice—nicer than anything he could afford on his own—that there are high ceilings and sun roofs in every single room. A little snow has collected around the edges of the sun roof in his room and Louis bites his lip.

For some reason, he can feel it in his bones that it’s going to be an interesting day.

Dropping his head and his arms, Louis walks over to the window and presses his nose up against it lightly. He watches how his breath slowly fogs up the glass and he moves his nose around the fog, making delicate lines. When he focusses in on what’s actually going on outside, Louis notices that there’s a _lot_ more snow on the ground than he thought there would be. And it doesn’t look like the snow will be easing up anytime soon.

He just begins praying for a snow day when his thoughts are interrupted by the knocking on his door.

“Oi, Lou! Can I come in?” The familiar Irish voice asks from outside his door.

“Yeah Niall,” Louis calls back.

The door opens to reveal none other than Niall—one of Louis’ best mates—in baggy sweats and a thick sweater. “Do you need a lift to work, mate? I’m not letting you walk to the café in this shitty weather.”

“Was kinda hoping campus would be closed,” Louis chuckles. “I’m guessing Ben called Liam and told him it isn’t, then?”

“Yep, and he said to make sure you wouldn’t be late. Apparently Emmy’s sick? She can’t make it in for the next couple of days.”

“Fuck,” Louis mutters. “Isn’t he getting someone to cover her shit?”

“Liam never mentioned it,” Niall shrugs. “He already left for the firm.”

Louis sighs. He’s envious of Liam’s perseverance, he really is. Liam and he are just one year apart—Liam being the younger of the two—and even so, Liam managed to graduate from Uni early _and_ score a job at one of London’s most prestigious accounting firms. All while Louis is still studying to become a damn _teacher_ of all things.

“Okay,” Louis decides, “I’ll change and then we can go?”

“Sounds good,” Niall confirms, pulling out his phone and typing away. “I’m waiting in the living room.”

Louis hums noncommittally and walks to his wardrobe to change quickly, so Niall doesn’t get late to work because of him. Niall’s father owns a record company and Niall works as a producer under him. He and Louis have been friends since they were kids though, so they’re practically brothers—it never gets weird between them.

Shoving a beanie onto his head and putting on his coat, Louis runs to the front door to put on his VANS. “Niall!” Louis bellows. “C’mon mate, don’t wanna be late.”

Snorting, Niall calmly walks towards Louis with his eyebrows raised. “Why the hurry?”

“We can’t all be the sons of billionaires, Niall.” Louis jokes. “Time is money!”

“Does Ben even _pay_ you?” Niall laughs, swinging the heavy mahogany door open.

“A whole £5 an hour,” Louis whines, running down the stairs after Niall.

“Ho, the life of the poor,” Niall jokes.

Louis smacks his arm as the two venture into the parking square. “Any lip from you and you can forget about me paying any rent.”

Niall cackles, unlocking the car. “ _Like_ you pay rent anyway!”

“You and Liam are my sugar daddies. Of course I don’t pay rent, you fool.”

“Disgusting,” Niall shivers animatedly, starting the car.

Louis laughs quietly and presses the side of his head against the window. Just as he predicted earlier, the snow is still falling. So quickly, in fact, that it’s difficult to see outside the window.

“Don’t see why Ben couldn’t leave the café closed this morning,” Louis grumbles.

Niall turns onto the main road. “D’you need me to pick you up later?”

“Think I can make it home.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Alright, call me if you need a ride then.”

Louis pats his pockets, trying to feel for his phone. “No can do mate,” he replies once he turns up phoneless. “Looks like I’ve forgotten mine at home.”

Niall takes his eyes off the road to glare at Louis who, in turn, shrieks at him to keep his eyes on the road. Niall rolls his eyes but heeds his advice even still, saying, “We’ve been friends for, what? 12 years? I’ve had the same phone number for years, yet you couldn’t be arsed to remember it?”

Louis flips him off and turns on the radio, breathing in when he hears the careless tune of a pop song he doesn’t recognize. Niall starts talking about one of the new artists he’s working with then, and before Louis knows it, the car has stopped in front of Caramel Café.

“Okay Neil, see you later tonight. Thanks love you bye!” Louis rushes out as he hops out the car and slams the door.

Before he can freeze to death outside, Louis runs to the café door and pushes in. He loses his balance momentarily but grabs onto the door handle before he can make a fool of himself further. Luckily though, when he catches his breath and looks up, Louis realizes that the café is without any customers.

“Ben?” Louis calls out, puzzled. He jumps when he hears a loud banging sound.

“’m in the back!”

Heading behind the clean counter and to the dimly-lit kitchen, Louis can’t help but chuckle when he sees Ben sitting in the middle of a mess of baking trays and steel pans.

Louis grins and offers a hand to help Ben up. “You okay there?”

Giving Louis an icy glare, Ben accepts the hand and gets up, dusting off the back of his trousers. “Yes, I am perfectly fine. Now c’mon and help me clean up.”

Groaning, Louis takes off his coat and goes to put it in the little closet that Ben—who is, of course, the owner of the café—has turned into an employee’s office.

When Louis gets back to the kitchen, he sees Ben pull out a tray of freshly baked pastries. “Those look amazing,” Louis sighs, breathing in the smell of the freshly baked delights.

“You wanna try one? It’s a new recipe I’ve been working on. It’s stuffed with cranberry sauce.”

Louis’ stomach grumbles and he makes grabby hands towards the tray.

“Oi!” Ben scolds. “You’ll burn yourself, you greedy troll. Patience is virtue.”

“How am I meant to be patient when I haven’t eaten since dinner last night!?”

“Why do you always insist on skipping breakfast,” Ben mumbles under his breath, barely loud enough for Louis to hear. “Okay, why don’t you quickly just stack these trays on the counter and then go to the front? I’ll make you something to eat.”

Louis grins smugly. “I knew there was a reason I still worked here. God knows it wasn’t the shitty pay.”

“Hey,” Ben warns. “Don’t get too cocky—I have the power to cut your salary, remember? I’m--”

“-- _Your boss, not your friend,”_ Louis mocks in a cheap imitation of Ben’s voice. “Yeah yeah yeah. I’ve heard it all before.”

Ben looks up at the ceiling in exasperation. “Why have I kept him around? Why?”

Continuing the banter as he starts stacking the fallen trays, Louis replies seriously, “It’s because I attract all the customers.” Then, after a beat, “Also because you’re madly in love with me and can’t bear to think of what your life would be like without me in it.”

“Oh, so is this what you think of when you’re all alone?” Ben laughs. “Wait till the boyfriend hears.”

Louis’ mouth turns sour at the mention of Matty. He stays quiet, lost in his mind for a moment until Ben speaks up again.

“How _is_ Matty, by the way? You must be wishing you went to LA with him after this shit weather we’re having.”

Louis frowns, feeling anger well up inside of him. The thing is, Ben’s a friend. As much as the older man argues, he really is Louis’ friend and he knows quite a lot about Louis’ life. The problem is that ever since Louis started working for Ben—when they became friends—it’s been _LouisandMatty._ So Ben’s as much Matty’s friend as he is Louis’.

Louis can’t really blame Ben for bringing Matty up, and he also can’t stop Ben from mentioning him. Now more than ever, he wishes he could though. He wishes he could tell Ben—could tell all of the friends that he made in London when he moved with Matty—to stop treating him like he’s only half of a whole; like he’s not really Louis without Matty.

He doesn’t say anything, though. He trusts Ben, but he doesn’t want anyone holding something over his head. He doesn’t want any chance of Matty finding out about his mixed feelings because after four years, Louis’ had enough time to sort out his feelings for his boyfriend.

At least that’s how it’s supposed to be.

“He’s fine,” Louis answers Ben a beat too late for the pause to be considered normal. He’s still confused as to why Ben’s comment enraged him but nevertheless, he knows he has to act like everything’s normal. “Last I spoke to him he was enjoying the sun and all.”

“Mmm,” Ben acknowledges, looking at Louis carefully like he has caught on that something’s not right.

Louis bites his lip. “Well I’m gonna go out front. I’ll be waiting for that brekkie Benjamin.”

Ben chuckles and shakes his head fondly, going back to putting the pastries on the cooling rack.

***

Three hours later and the snow has eased up. There are only light flurries falling, Louis notices, as he goes around the café tables and picks up the dirty dishes that their few patrons left behind.

He’s wiping down the tables, humming along to the slow song that’s playing on the speakers, when the front door opens. He looks up from where he’s almost spread out along the table, trying to reach the far corners, and laughs when he recognizes the smiling face.

“Hey, Louis!” Greets Zayn. He was in Louis’ English Lit class the year prior and had become fast friends with Louis.

“Zayn!” Louis laughs awkwardly, feeling his cheeks burn as he feel embarrassed about having his bum in the air moments earlier. “How’s it going, mate?”

“I’m good! How’re you, Lou? Haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I’ve just been swamped,” Louis shakes his head. “So much coursework and then I’ve got _this_ job on top of it all.”

“I dunno how you do it,” Zayn says, eyes wide. “That’s a lot of shit to be on top of.”

“Tell me about it,” Louis exhales. “Well anyway, can I get you anything?” He walks behind the counter to stand behind the cash register.

Zayn, who has followed him to the counter, sits on one of the barstools. “Not just yet. I’ve invited my mate down so we could catch up, so I’ll just order when he gets here.”

“That’s alright then,” Louis smiles. “Anyone I know?”

“Hmm?”

“I meant is your mate anyone I know?”

Zayn’s eyes cloud over, like he’s thinking about something, before he snaps back and meets Louis’ look. “Oh, erm. Probably not. He’s cool though, you’ll love him.”

Louis nods his head and reaches under the counter for a cloth to wipe down the counter with. Liam calls it his nervous habit.

“So are you still with your boyfriend?” Zayn asks curiously after Louis has placed the rag back on its shelf.

Louis sighs and rests his arms on the counter. “I mean yeah. Technically.”

Zayn snorts. “Technically?

“Technically.”

“Well, Lou. You gonna explain?”

Louis bites his lip. Before he can think about what to say to Zayn, the words start slipping from his mouth. “He, well. I dunno if I told you last year but he got this _really_ good job in LA with a law firm. And, like, they gave him his first week’s salary in advance so he could move out there and like, naturally it was a lot, you know?”

Zayn nods and tilts his chin up towards Louis to get him to continue.

“So anyway,” Louis sighs. “He asked me to come with him and I. Dunno. I think I chickened out? Like, moving to another country with him seemed like too big of a step for me to take. I didn’t really think it was the right thing to do for me at the moment. Especially, you know, considering.”

“Considering what?” Zayn looks at him, confused.

“Like towards the end of last semester, I started feeling like we weren’t really going anywhere. Like maybe that wasn’t the relationship I was meant to be in, you know? Everything stopped feeling right. And we’re together now but we barely talk. And when we do, it’s not ever about anything useful.” Louis puts his head in his hands. “I can’t help but feel like maybe this is the end.”

Zayn looks at Louis quietly for a full minute while Louis can’t believe he let that all slip out. Maybe he finally just wanted to _talk_ to someone about it. Someone who didn’t know Matty; someone who he thought would spare him the judgment.

“Have you talked to him at all about this?”

Louis shakes his head, frowning. “He’s coming home for Christmas, and like. I don’t know if I’ll be able to seriously talk about this, like. It doesn’t feel like it’s real.” He looks into Zayn’s eyes, pleading almost. “It’s always been the two of us. I’ve always thought it was me and him until the end. But, like, now? I’m scared to let him go. He’s all I’ve ever known.”

Zayn drums his fingers against the countertop, looking down and the granite thoughtfully. “Maybe you really _do_ need your space, hmm? You know how they say people come to uni to find out who they are?”

Louis nods.

Zayn raises his eyebrows. “You never got a chance to do that, did you? You never really get to be single in a city of opportunities. Maybe you just need time to figure out who you are without a boyfriend.”

Louis sighs and drops his head against the counter. “I think you’re right. Maybe we should end it when he comes down here. I mean, I don’t even know what to talk to him about these days.”

Zayn smiles meekly. “It’s probably for the best then, Lou.” He reaches across the counter to squeeze Louis’ arm.

Before Louis can reply, the front door is pushed open and a gust of wind bombards its way into the cozy café. Louis looks up just as Zayn turns around, and in walks a boy with the prettiest face that Louis’ ever seen.

He’s got a killer smile as well as killer curly hair, is the first thing Louis notices. He’s beaming as soon as his eyes incredibly green eyes meet Zayn’s, unveiling his adorable dimples in the process. He has long legs that are squeezed into incredibly tight black skinnies and he’s clad in a plaid top with a thick brown coat on top. He looks, all in all, like he has stepped off a runway.

“Zayn!” The boy—man?—exclaims delightedly. “Mate! Long time no see!”

Zayn laughs and jumps off the barstool, holding open his arms. The model strides across the café easily and hugs Zayn tightly.

Louis feels a bit like he’s intruding, watching their reunion; so, he turns his back on the scene in front of him, blushing a little because _wow_ that boy is attractiveas anything.

He flicks on the coffee maker and is about to fiddle around in the cupboards for a cup when Zayn interrupts.

“Lou! This is the mate that I was telling you about,” Zayn smiles warmly. “And Harry, this is Louis. We met in English Lit last year.”

Louis looks up at Harry who is beaming back at him. “Hey Harry,” Louis finally says, grinning back.

“Hiiii Louis,” Harry laughs, offering Louis a hand to shake.

Louis takes Harry’s hand—his warm hands that are so much bigger than Louis’ that they encompass his entirely—and shakes it. “How’s it going, mate?” Louis asks after he clears his throat, inexplicably overcome with a feeling that he would not like to address, after shaking the taller boy’s hand.

“’M good, you know. Just regretting not going home for Christmas,” Harry sighs, solemnly shaking his head. The frown is quickly wiped from his face though, as he smiles kindly and asks, “What about you, Louis? Planning on going home?”

Louis shifts his weight from his heels to his toes and then back to his heels again. Biting his lip, he says, “Naw, mate. I had other plans, but. We’ll see how it goes.”

“What happened?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowing. He doesn’t sound as though he’s meddling; it sounds to Louis like Harry’s genuinely curious.

Louis sighs, “My friend is planning to visit from LA. Dunno if things’ll be the same between us after we talk, though.”

Harry looks puzzled. “Your friend?”

Zayn snorts. “He means his boyfriend. He’s just not saying that cos he’s afraid you’ll judge him for it.”

Louis gives Zayn a murderous look. “I am _not_ afraid of being judged, Zayn.”

Zayn laughs, “Oh, Lou. What were we talking about right before Harry walked in again?”

Louis narrows his eyes at the boy. “Well that’s different, okay.”

Before Zayn can respond, Harry awkwardly chuckles. “Well I’m really confused right now, so. Yeah. I should mention, Louis, that I’d never judge you.”

“Yeah, Harry’s pretty much a hippie. He loves _everything and everyone_ ,” Zayn mocks.

Harry finally takes a seat on one of the bar stools. “Dunno whether to be offended or pleased,” he mutters under his breath.

“I think that’s a pleasurable quality, mate,” Louis assures with chuckle.

“ _Thank_ you, Louis,” Harry scowls, looking over at Zayn. “At least _someone_ here is a true friend!”

Zayn sticks his tongue out.

Rolling his eyes, Harry turns back to Louis. “Sooo. Is Ben in?”

“Actually he went home about an hour ago,” Louis explains. Then, “Wait. You know Ben?”

“Yeah, he’s a really good friend of mine. I come here a lot.”

Louis’ eyes widen. “Really? I work here every day and I’ve never seen you before.”

Harry cackles boisterously. “You’re kidding me! This is too weird! When do you work here?”

“From about ten in the morning until three-ish, usually.”

“Ahhh,” Harry nods. “Whenever I’m here it’s after four.”

“This is too weird,” Louis comments, feeling his stomach swoop for a reason he can’t explain. “It’s like someone told you not to come when I’m here.”

Harry licks his lips, looking as though he’s thinking about something. “When is Ben usually here?”

Louis thinks for a moment. “Er, well he usually opens at the place at six in the morning and is here with Emmy until I get here at ten. He comes back at one, and then I don’t really see him after he leaves at like, two.”

Harry looks surprised when he says, “He actually told me he’s never here before four.”

“No way,” Zayn laughs nervously.

“But why would he lie to you?” Louis asks confusedly.

“No idea,” Harry breathes out. “I thought we were really good friends.”

“No doubt in my mind that you are,” Louis says. Gesturing to the two boys, he asks, “Can I get you lads anything?”

***

The café stays quiet the entire time Harry and Zayn are there. Although the two had planned on catching up, they’re more than happy to include Louis in their conversation.

It surprises Louis how freely the three are able to talk. It doesn’t feel as though he and Harry only met some hours ago, and it doesn’t even feel like it could have ever been possible that he and Zayn were only acquaintances.

The truth is, Louis is glad to have new people to talk to. A part of him is sick and tired of always hanging around the same people. He loves his friends, but everyone apart from Liam and Niall just know him as half of one whole. He quite likes the way that Zayn and Harry treat him as just _Louis._ He loves that they never ask questions about Matty and can go an entire conversation without bringing him up--even though they both know that he is in a relationship. Louis feels like whatever he says will go unjudged when he is around these boys; to be frank, he hasn’t felt so comfortable around people who aren’t Niall and Liam in a long time.

When Rosa clocks in at half past three, Louis walks out of the café with Harry and Zayn by his side.

“I’ll see you two later,” Zayn says, buttoning up his coat. “I’ve gotta get to work myself. Maybe we can get drinks soon?”

“Oooh, sounds like fun,” Louis shivers, rubbing his hands together. “You’ve got my number, right?”

Zayn nods, walking away slowly. “Yep! You two should exchange your numbers and then we’ll talk. I’ve gotta go, though! See you!”

“Ta, Zayn!” Harry shouts after Zayn’s retreating back.

“Fuck, it’s too cold,” Louis groans, shoving his hands into his pocket. “Do you have your phone, Harry?”

Harry rummages around in his coat pocket. “Mhm, do you need to make a call?”

Louis sighs. “Yeah, I should probably tell Niall to pick me up on his way home. It’s too cold to walk.”

Harry stops searching in his pocket and looks at Louis pointedly. “If you need a ride, all you have to do is ask, Lou! I don’t mind driving you home.”

Louis bites his lip unsurely, gazing up at the storm clouds. It looks like it’s about to start snowing again. “Harry, really, it’s okay. Niall can get me, don’t worry about—“

“Louis,” Harry says stubbornly. “My car is right around the corner. C’mon, I’ll take you home.”

“But—“

“No buts,” Harry scolds. “Listen to me when I tell you that it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Sighing again, Louis rolls his eyes. “Fine, fine. Let’s go then. ‘M cold.”

Harry starts leading the way around the shop and to his car, smug smile steadily in place. “Where do you live?”

Louis rattles off his address, struggling to remember the new numbers and street name himself. When he looks back at Harry, the other boy seems impressed. “What?” Louis laughs.

Harry unlocks his Range Rover. “That’s a really posh street, innit?”

Louis snorts when Harry opens the passenger side door for him. “Says _you!_ That means absolutely nothing coming from the boy with the manners _and_ the Range Rover.”

After sitting in his seat and putting on his seatbelt, Louis looks over at Harry; his eyes seem to be gleaming and his dimples look so _deep_ with how hard he’s smiling.

“What is it?” Louis says, suddenly breathless.

“Nothing,” Harry grins, starting the car and blasting the heating.

Louis smacks the boy’s arm gently. “No, really, something’s up! Tell me what it is!”

Harry shakes his head and after putting Louis’ address into his car’s GPS, he pulls out of the parking lot. “So. What are you gonna do on Christmas, Lou? Since you’re not sure that your boyfriend’s gonna be with you?”

Louis huffs out breath, annoyed that Harry won’t tell him why he’s smiling so hard. He answers him anyway; he can’t help it. “Probably gonna grab some Chinese and watch a movie at home. My flatmates will be going away as well, so I’ll be alone. Why’d’you ask?”

Harry shrugs, looking back at Louis. “Why don’t you go home?”

Falling back deeper into his seat, Louis gulps. “Well, my mum and sisters are going to my mum’s fiancé’s mother’s house cos me mum’s pregnant. I don’t wanna, like. Intrude or anything.”

Harry pouts. “Well, they’re you’re family too, Lou. You wouldn’t be intruding.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Louis mumbles. “I just really don’t want to have to go home to my family only to tell them I’ve just ended a relationship that I’ve been in for four years.”

“Fuck,” Harry curses, eyes wide. “Four _years?”_

Louis chuckles lightly, looking over at Harry lazily. “Exactly, mate.”

After regaining some composure, Harry reasons, “Well you’re gonna have to do it eventually, you know? Also, why are you so confident that your relationship will end? What if you guys work it out?”

Louis shakes his head and sighs dejectedly once Harry brings his car to a stop in front of Louis’ flat. “You ask too many questions that I’m not willing to answer sober.”

“Can I get your number, then? So I can text you about meeting up for drinks with Zayn,” Harry says quickly, flushing a little.

Endeared, Louis smiles and takes Harry’s phone from its spot in the cup holder. He adds his name and number in Harry’s contacts, and tells him, “Don’t forget to text. I’m in need of alcohol ASAP.”

Harry bites back a grin. “My message will come sooner than you think.”

“It can’t be soon enough,” Louis laughs, hopping out of his car. Before he slams the door shut, Harry’s voice stops him, making his head shoot up so he’s looking at Harry.

“Erm, Lou. It was, like. It was really nice to meet you. I’m glad Zayn introduced us.”

Louis smiles warmly. “I am too. Today turned out much better than I thought it would.”

Waving at Harry, Louis slams the door shut and makes his way to the apartment complex’s entrance. He doesn’t hear Harry drive off until he has entered the building, and when he’s pushing the button for the elevator later, he can’t help but think how true Harry’s words are.

***

When he gets out of the shower that afternoon, Louis drives Niall to the airport and Liam to the train station. They both planned, coincidentally, that they would leave London at night so they could catch some sleep before they got home. What they didn’t plan was the day they would each leave, so oddly enough, they end up leaving on the same night.

Louis drops Niall off in front of the departures door at Heathrow, Liam still sitting in the car with him, after they each say their _Happy Christmas_ es and _See you in the New Year_ s! It’s quiet when Louis pulls back onto the main road; the car is filled with a heavy silence that Louis doesn’t quite understand.

“I talked to Matty the other night,” Liam finally begins.

Louis knows in the back of his mind that his friend means well, he really does, but for some reason, the mention of Matty’s name makes him feel a bit sick. He attributes it to the fact that he is quite nervous about his boyfriend’s return. He hasn’t really _seen_ Matty for six months—the fact that he thinks their relationship is going to end the day they reunite isn’t really a settling thought.

Instead of voicing his concerns—because apparently, he’s only able to do that around people who he doesn’t know all that well (namely Zayn and Harry)—he replies, albeit a little deflated, “And how’s he doing, then?”

After an awkward beat of silence, Liam hums a little sadly. “Shouldn’t _I_ be the one asking _you_ that, Lou?”

Louis counts to five silently, trying not to let anger overcome him. “He’s your friend too, Liam. It’s totally okay that I’m asking _you_ how he is.”

“But he’s your _boyfriend,_ Louis!” Liam exclaims, clearly more upset over this matter than Louis is. “He told me you two haven’t talked in weeks. What’s that supposed to mean? Why have you been lying to me and Niall?”

“Oh I haven’t been _lying,_ Liam. Don’t be so dramatic! You two always ask me how he is and I say tell you he’s fine! That’s what his texts imply, anyway,” Louis grumbles.

“Oh, you mean the texts that you don’t reply to?” Liam counters, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you fucking scolding me, Liam?” Louis laughs incredulously. “This isn’t your relationship! You needn’t worry about what doesn’t concern you. Seriously, just fuck it.”

The silence is deafening after Louis’ last sentence. He hears the words he just said—the words that slipped from his mouth accidentally—ring in his ears. “Shit,” he mumbles. “Fuck, sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, Li. I’m honestly just—I dunno.”

“You’re honestly just _what,_ Louis?” Liam asks, concern evident in his gentle voice. “You’re my best mate, Lou. You can tell me anything. You know I would never judge you or go behind your back, right?”

When Louis doesn’t answer, Liam looks pained. His eyes are sad and searching; searching for something on Louis’ face to hint at what his friend is thinking. “Lou,” he says, pleading.

“I trust you, Li. Really, I do. I just don’t completely understand my feelings anymore, okay? This whole situation is a bit fucked up, and I don’t know if I just want to end things with Matty because I haven’t been around him in a while, or if I actually don’t want to be with him anymore.”

At this point, Louis and Liam have reached the train station. It’s busy, what with it almost being Christmas. Louis takes the car around to the front and stops it in the drop-off zone, thinking about how it seems like other people have had the same idea as Liam in traveling home at night.

When Louis finally rakes up the courage to turn to face his friend, he sees Liam looks stunned. “What?” Louis manages to croak out. He’s scared, suddenly; he’s afraid that he has said the wrong thing to the wrong person.

Before Louis can say anything else, Liam suddenly courses forward and crushes Louis into a hug. “Oh, Lou,” he says softly. “I’m sorry, mate. I didn’t realize you were so confused about all this, I. I’ve been such a terrible friend! I should’ve noticed the signs before!”

Pulling apart after relishing in the warmth that radiates off of Liam, Louis looks his friend straight in the eye. “Don’t think that for a moment, Li. You and Niall are two of the most amazing friends I’ve ever had and I love you two _so_ much. This is just something that I honestly wanted to figure out on my own before I started accepting the opinions of everyone else. Do you know what I mean?”

Liam nods his head vigorously. “Totally understood, Lou. So any ideas of what you’re gonna do?”

Louis chuckles. “None at all, Li. I’m just gonna wait until he gets here, I suppose. I’ll talk to him first thing.”

Liam looks at Louis closely, as though he’s deciding what to say to him. He comes up short though, speechless at the new and heavy knowledge Louis has given him, and ends up pulling his best friend in for another hug.

“Good luck,” Liam whispers later as he’s leaving the car. “I love you no matter who you’re with. You’ll always be the same Louis.”

Louis feels a sense of relief at that, hearing those words specifically. Just like that, the fear he has of not being seen as an independent person, of not being seen as _just Louis,_ slowly seeps away. He feels a little foolish for thinking his best friends could ever not love _him_ for who he is, but nevertheless, Louis smiles at Liam. “Thank you,” he says, voice filled with emotion. “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

Liam just smiles. “Happy Christmas, Lou. I’ll be seeing you soon!”

***

When he gets home some time later, Louis sees that his phone is glowing from the same place he left it on his bed, indicating a text from both Matty and an unknown number.

_Matty (20:48): flight lands at heathrow on xmas eve at 14.30. will get a cab 2 ur flat. hope u’ll be there._

Louis rubs his temples and falls onto his bed, head swimming with nearly incomprehensible thoughts. He has never been one to easily open up to the people around him. Rather, he’s used to keeping his feelings bottled up inside, so explaining his thoughts once—much less _three_ times—leaves him feeling tired and somewhat naked.

The day, as he predicted, was chock full of weird happenings. He didn’t expect to straighten out his feelings for Matty; he didn’t expect to let _Liam_ and _Zayn_ in on those feelings, either; most of all though, Louis didn’t expect to meet someone like Harry. He didn’t expect that he would meet someone so kind and charming and full of light at a point in his life when he didn’t even know who he was.

Slowly but surely, Louis thinks as he thumbs through his messages to the one from the unknown number, he understands who he _wants_ to be.

_Unknown (21.21): Hiiii Louis. It’s Harry! Hope you remember me. Do you want to hang out on Xmas eve? .xx_

A smile graces Louis’ lips before he’s even done reading the text. He rolls his eyes fondly because honestly, _how could he forget Harry?_

Louis replies: _Pick me up at 7! :)_

***

Louis is just putting on his shoes when there’s a knock at the door at what is probably seven o’clock sharp. He can’t control the smile that makes his way to his lips as he walks over to the door.

Pulling it open, Louis is laughs in delight when he sees Harry standing at his doorstep, grinning from ear to ear with his eyes closed. He’s holding a single red rose in his hand and he looks so beautiful in his tight black jeans and casual blazer--like an angel that has fallen from the heavens for Louis personally. 

“Well hello to you too,” Louis giggles, blushing as Harry curtseys to him and offers him the rose.

“A rose for a rose,” Harry says like he’s in a daze.

“Stooooop,” Louis laughs, accepting the rose and bringing it up to his nose to smell.

“Careful, there might be some bugs in there. I picked it from your neighbor’s garden.”

Louis shakes his head and brings the door to a close, stepping alongside Harry as he leads them to the elevator. “Obviously not, seeing as a) it’s winter, and b) I live in an apartment complex so my neighbors don’t _have_ gardens.”

“Details, details,” Harry sighs as he waves the idea off. It would come off as nonchalant, except Harry can’t suppress the grin on his lips.

They walk to Harry’s car in silence, but it’s a nice silence. One filled with excitement and nervous energy that makes Louis’ tummy feel full of excited butterflies.

“So how’d it go with Matty today?” Harry asks when they’re driving off towards the pub, referring to the conversation he and Louis had that morning (in which Louis told him what his lunchtime plans were).

“Was okay,” Louis nods after a minute. “Ended on better terms than I thought it would, to be honest. He apologized for ‘dragging me along in a relationship which I didn’t want to be a part of’ but I obviously apologized for not clarifying to him how I felt.” Louis shivers. “I hate breakups. And that was just—I dunno. Weird. Like four years of my life, spent with a person and now they’re just—gone. It’s like it was all for nothing.”

“N’aw don’t say that,” Harry says gently, leaning over to squeeze Louis’ shoulder. “I’m sure you both learned a lot about yourselves by being in that relationship. Everything happens for a reason, right?”

“You’re right,” Louis smiles. “Quite wise you are, Harry Styles.”

Once they pull up in front of the pub, Harry opens Louis’ door and leads him in. The pub is dimly lit and the atmosphere is warm; people are sitting around the bar with their friends, watching a footie match on TV. Others who are seated in the booths are having private conversations with their friends and lovers, sounding and looking content with their lives. The calm scene makes Louis smile; it pushes him to stop stressing out about life, to enjoy the moment he’s living in.

The two boys order a large plate of fish and chips at the bar and make their way to a booth near the front of the pub. They’re sitting in front of the window with two beers each, softly discussing their families and their love for Christmas. Louis feels comfortable with Harry; he finds himself unable to suppress his smile.

“For two people who adore Christmas as much as we do, it’s a shame that we’re without our families,” Harry huffs out after a chuckle.

“I know what you mean,” Louis sighs. “All alone on Christmas and my birthday, it seems. Will probably be an unlucky year for me.”

“Wait—“ Harry stops Louis, puzzled. “Your birthday? When is it?”

“Today,” Louis replies casually, shrugging and shoving a chip into his mouth.

Harry’s mouth hangs open. “It’s your birthday and you let me take you out to _dinner_ at a _pub!?”_

Louis swallows and tries not to laugh at the horror on Harry’s face. “Uhh—yes?”

Harry looks cross. “Louis Tomlinson, I swear to god I’m going to—“

“Louis! Harry!”

Both boys turn towards the sound of the voice.

They’re shocked when they see Ben rushing over towards them.

“Ben?” Louis greets. “What’re you doing here?”

“Could ask you the same!” Ben laughs. “Wow! I can’t believe you two’ve met. Finally!”

Louis looks at Harry who looks back at him, just as puzzled.

“Wait—what? What do you mean _finally_?”

“It’s a long story,” Ben laughs. He gestures between the two and explains, “When I met you, Harry, I knew right away how _right_ you’d be with Louis.” Ben stops then, looking at Louis and wincing. “Not that you and Matty aren’t great because—“

“Ben,” Louis stops the older man weakly. “We’ve broken up.”

“Oh, really?” Ben asks, seeming to glow. “Well great! I mean,” he winces again. “Not great. I just. Well, Matty’s a great kid, really! Just—“ Ben looks at Louis pointedly. “Not great for you.”

“Wait, so,” Harry cocks his head to the side, looking up at Ben. “What you’re saying is, you knew that we would be good together but you neverintroduced us?”

Ben looks sheepish. “In my defense, I didn’t want to come between Louis and Matty. I had a feeling things would fall into place when they were meant to.”

Louis looks at Harry, who is looking back at him intently. They both smile at the same time.

“So how long have you two been together, then!?” Ben asks excitedly.

“Oh we’re not—“ Harry rushes, flushing from Ben’s speculation.

“Actually, this is our first date.” Louis interrupts. He looks at Harry, hoping to ask him _is this okay?_ with his expression.

Harry just beams back in response. The green of his eyes is glowing, and Louis can see little flecks of gold in them, accentuated by the candle that’s sitting on their table. The sight warms his heart; Harry knocks the breath out of him.

“Well boys,” Ben says, lifting up his beer as if he’s toasting them. “The best of luck to you both.” He turns to go, but quickly turns back to face them. “By the way,” he says to Louis. “I have a good feeling about this one.”

Louis realizes that the circumstances that he and Harry met under were nothing less than weird. He understands though, that everything happens for a reason, like Harry said. And honestly, the confusion he has felt in his past relationship pushes him to treasure Harry—to hold him close.

The thing is, being with Harry just feels _right_ to Louis. It’s a feeling he has never felt with anyone else, and something tells him he’s probably not going to feel it with anyone apart from the boy in front of him.

Louis can feel the truth behind Ben’s words. It gives him the confidence to surge forward and take Harry’s hand in his. He’s honest when he says, “I do too, Ben. I do too.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!!! happy holidays to you all! <333333


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